I really want to do this

July 26th, 2009 John Hill

I want to complete the Ironman triathlon in Hawaii. I am not sure if I am ever able to do it, but I want it really bad. It’s about measuring myself and my healing. So far I have managed to half run, half walk a marathon in five and half hours couple of years ago. I have also finished one half marathon running from start to finish (time was around 2h20m).

I have seen one of the Ironman DVD shows (also shown on NBC). These shows are not just about the competition. They also follow strories of several people who have fought hard to be able to participate in the event (people with cancer or severe accidents behind them). I cried when I was watching the show because these people are so inspirational. What am I complaining about my health, I have two good legs and no serious life threatening illnesses.

There are limits to how far each of us can go, but the thing is that you can never know if you don’t try. My first step is getting continuous exercise routine going. I have one month behind now. That’s a start :-). Next I will have to spend some extra time with my hamstrings. I am so inflexible that it affects my running form. I have to change that. Then I will have to slowly get into better shape. I suspect that I’ll be ready to run a marathon from start to finish next summer. Maybe year after that I’ll be ready for sprint distance triathlon. Finding enough time to train for Ironman distance may require radically changing my daily schedule (cutting work hours etc.), but I’ll figure it out when I get there. All in all it will take years before I could be ready. It’s also possible that I’ll never be ready. We’ll see.

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My life plan

July 23rd, 2009 John Hill

One side effect of having been so depressed that I considered suicide is that I find it very hard to get motivated by “ordinary” work. I see life as a maze with doors. Behind some doors are rooms that change our lives so much that there is no way to go back and forget that room. Being depressed is one such room, especially if you have to seriously consider suicide as an option to escape.

I feel fine now, but I had to rebuild all my values from nothing. I have dreams and goals. I have motivation. Unfortunately “keep working as nothing has happened” isn’t on my list. I can barely fit in “keep working because you have to get money”, but at the same time I know that every hour of my current work is away from my more important goals. Read the rest of this entry »

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I really want to get up earlier

July 22nd, 2009 John Hill

Getting up earlier would help me in organizing my time and I know it, so I have motivation. What seems to be missing is the knowledge of that motivation at the moment I wake up…

I like the method by Steve Pavlina. The idea is to condition yourself to get up immediately before your brain has time to protest. It worked for me before and I think I need to try it again.

I want to wake up feeling well rested, so I also need to go to bed early enough and listen some relaxing music. I am already experimenting with classical music and I think it helps (usually I listen power metal or fast trance… NOT good for relaxing).

I also try not to do anything too stimulating late in the evening (like playing poker or exercising). This has definitely helped me sleep earlier.

What else could I do? Oh yeah, no tea or coffee for a while.

See more progress on: get up when my alarm clock goes off

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There is no happiness set point

July 21st, 2009 John Hill

Research suggests that there is individual “set point” or “set range” for how happy someone can be. I don’t think that is the case. During my life I have had long periods of “medium low happiness” that I thought was my maximum happiness. Later when I got rid of my health issues my set point changed. I’ve also had periods of dull depression that I could have mistaken for normal state if I hadn’t been happier before.

This makes me think about people who have ALWAYS had some issue that has caused their brain to function less than optimally. They can’t know that they are less happy than they could be! Only after becoming happier they can see that they really had a problem. Read the rest of this entry »

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Removing amalgam fillings

December 8th, 2008 John Hill

I have decided to get rid of my dental amalgams. I have only four amalgam fillings and the doctors I have seen don’t think it’s very likely that this is causing my problems. Still, it’s something that is quite easy to do. Who knows, it might help…

Read the rest of this entry »

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My goals are on 43things.com

August 14th, 2008 John Hill

I decided to share my goals on 43things.com (link takes directly to my page). I think it’s very inspirational site and I recommend it to anyone wanting to reach their goals. Read the rest of this entry »

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A bit of history first

August 13th, 2008 John Hill

This is the first post in “My Life” category, so I think it’s logical to use this post to tell a little about my history.

Past 12 years have been ugly. I have had depression/anxiety/burnout like symptoms most of the time. I have had brain fog, memory problems, lack of motivation, inability to do physical exercise without getting low mood for days afterwards, loss of ability to smell, overhelming lethargy, … Read the rest of this entry »

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Can anyone be happy?

January 20th, 2008 John Hill

It’s quite easy to feel happy momentarily, but feeling generally so happy that answer to question “Are you happy?” would be YES! is a bit harder. Stress and health problems (just two examples) can make it harder to feel happy, but happiness is just a state of mind. That means it’s possible to feel happy no matter what the situation is, it’s just harder. This site is about two things: finding happiness and solving health problems that make it harder to feel happy. Read the rest of this entry »

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